Resolutions: The Progeny of Disappointment.

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The spirit of New Years is there. I see it in their little shiny eyes. I see those little kids playing hopscotch, falling down, and giggling about it. I feel their enormous happiness emerging from such a simple jumping game. I hope they never grow like I did. I hope they never see reality the way I do. I hope they never sit at the side of the window, just like I am today, and wish to feel as liberated as they are.

Resolutions are the progeny of disappointment. With twenty ten finally coming to an end, most people’s resolutions are not to make one. Ironic, isn’t it? We plan not to plan for things. We fear that if yet another 365 days comes to an end, and our feet have not yet moved that one step we wanted to make 365 days before – of failure.

However, failing is not we fear. Failing is prominent and bound to happen. We fear the feeling of self disappointment. We fear of the Non-accomplishments. Somewhere deep inside, we know that one day we will fail ourselves, and not meet up to our expectations. With no resolutions this year, we chose not to fail ourselves directly. We chose to step back, sit down, and watch as other’s dream come true – pretending we do not want to feel the way they do. We chose to lie to ourselves.

I fear of the unknown. I have this crave to know it, yet not to experience it. I have had zero resolutions along the years because I never completely lived an entire year. Years for me are when I go through a complete set of emotions. Years for me are when I go through a 180 degrees transformation. For the past years I have been going through a 360 degree transformation. Starting, changing, and then going back to square one. It’s worse than not changing. Moving forward and then being pushed backwards is the worst thing anyone could ever experience.

What does it matter that one year has passed?

What is the difference between today and tomorrow?

Do we really care that the number on the side of our notebooks, e-mails, and under our tweets has changed from 2010 to 2011?

Do we fancy numbers that much?

What makes years changing so special, when it is only time passing, nonetheless. The ticks of the clock will continue to tick, and time will continue to increase. I want to feel that New Year’s spirit, I do. I want to wake up tomorrow and feel refreshed. I want to have resolutions, and be able to complete them. I want to make myself proud for a change. I want to accomplish my goals.

I want to look back at 2010 and feel like I have accomplished something worthwhile. No matter how big my accomplishments were, I still have a long way to go. Every year we force ourselves to do things, to change, and to be that perfect person we always dreamed to be. Why can’t we just let it be? Why can’t we understand that change happens whenever it pleases? If it is one thing that I have learned in 2010: change is not a choice. It happens whether we welcome it or not. Accepting it or not accepting is the choice we get to make.

Even without resolutions, I know that along the year I will want to do things, and set a time to complete them. What is the point of resolutions then? It is just a fancy name given to a not so fancy thing to do, on a fancy date. Resolutions are decisions we take, actions we try to make, and dreams we want to accomplish. Resolutions are not year-related. They do not have to be made at the beginning of each year. When did we start to relate the non-relatable?

Why does every year have to end with disappointments, and another starts with hopes? Why should there be any sequel of emotions, whatsoever?

My hopes for the upcoming 365 days are those of every single one of us. I hope for a bed to sleep on, enough food to live through the day, and a roof to shelter me from the weather. I hope for clean water to drink. I hope for an emotionless year. I hope for brighter days. I hope for a better change. I hope wars come to an end. I hope astronomy isn’t so hard next semester. I hope I do not fail myself.

I hope that more people start believing in global warming. I hope the economy rises. I hope that tax free countries, remain tax free. I hope twitter remains a free social networking site. I hope that facebook vanishes off the face of the earth. I hope that people stop relating resolutions to years, and years to dates. And most importantly, I hope that people would stop waiting for consecutive dates to get married – I wish from the bottom of my heart, that people would stop making such important decisions of their lives based on numbers.

Have a blessed 365 days.

    • hamstershorts
    • December 31st, 2010

    I'm already gearing up for a year of disappointment :p

  1. “I want to wake up tomorrow and feel refreshed”
    How much I need that!

  1. January 2nd, 2012
  2. June 27th, 2012

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